


Sammy, I Loved Him Too

by KateFraiser



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But here's how I imagine the next episode begins, Deadstiel, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Other, Post-s15e18, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Tbh I don't think supernatural did destiel dirty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateFraiser/pseuds/KateFraiser
Summary: Post-s15e18Sam and Jack rush home when Dean doesn't pick up his phone. Meanwhile, Dean deals with Castiel's death and confession.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 124





	Sammy, I Loved Him Too

On the third ring, Sam knew something was wrong. You don't send your brother to voice mail when you're fighting God and Death. 

"Dean, pick up, damn it!" he muttered quietly, so as not to wake Jack in the seat next to him. Sam glanced over to see Jack's face briefly illuminated by a passing street light before dialing a fourth time, when finally, Dean picked up.

"Dean! Dean you there?" He asked urgently. He heard his brother sniff on the other end before he spoke.

" _Sammy_ ," Dean choked.

"Dean, what's going on? Did you kill Death? Where's Cas, I gotta talk to him about Jack-"

" _Sammy..._ "

Dean sounded broken. Utterly defeated.

Sam floored it towards the bunker.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled, gun drawn as he ran through the halls, noticing a new scratch on the wall to his left lined with tiny scorch marks. Jack followed close behind.

Silence.

"DEAN ANSWER ME! WHERE ARE YOU?" Sam yelled desperately, before reaching a bloody door blown off it's hinges. He rushed in, gun at the ready, only to find an empty room and his brother, slumped against the wall with glistening eyes. Still.

"Dean..." He tucked his gun away before rushing to his brother's side. When he put his hand on Dean's shoulder and felt the blood, he turned and sent Jack to get the first-aid kit.

"It's... it's not my blood, Sammy," Dean whispered. "But let Jack go. I don't want him to find out like this."

"Dean, where's Cas?"

Dean looked up at his brother before rubbing his eyes and sobbing against his knees. He was gone. There was nothing Sam could do but sit with him, sit with his brother while he cried, so he did.

After a few moments, Dean sat up and leaned his head against the wall.

"He... he told me... that he _loved_... me."

Sam exhaled, surprised, but not entirely shocked.

"And? What'd you say?" He asked, gently probing. Dean turned and looked at his brother with so much shame.

" _Nothing_ , Sammy. I didn't say a damn thing." He slammed his phone against the ground and it skidded across and painted Devils Trap on the floor. Dean's head hung defeat.

"I think I love him too."

Sam looked at his brother, surprised.

"I don't know if I did in... in _that_ way, not like he..." Dean paused like the next word was a struggle to admit, " _loved_... me." He looked up at his brother. "Or maybe I did! I don't know, I... I don't know Sammy, I don't know if I did... in _that_ way. I loved him like family! But I don't know and now he's gone, he's gone dammit!" Tears fell in streams down his face.

"But when I think of him now... I think of him like Lisa, ya know? And I don't know what that means, but I'll never get to figure it out. And the fact that he's asleep somewhere in the empty thinking that I don't love him-" He covered his mouth with his hand before gasping, leaning into Sam's shoulder. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother and just held him, held him while he sobbed.

Deep within the Empty, amongst the souls of thousands of angels, there lies Castiel, dreaming of earth, of humanity, of Dean, when from somewhere in the world, he heard a cry.

" _I think I love him too._ "

Castiel smiled softly, drifting into a deep sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So turns out fanfic is really hard to right hehe. This is my first fanfic, and it's super short, so sorry about that, but I had fun writing it! I had a vision for this scene in my head and thought I'd share it because I really think that the average guy, like Dean, might have enough internalized homophobia to not even realize he might be queer, so I really don't think the show runners royally fucked destiel. I think they portrayed one man who genuinely felt the most happiness he'd ever felt before, and another man who is confronted with a) knowing someone else loves him, and b) realizing he might love them too.


End file.
